Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Waiting

I have been testing H's blood sugar for about a week now. He's not showing any major symptoms, but he has been very lethargic and moody. S was the same way before diagnosis, of course I had no idea what I was dealing with then.  She ended up with excessive thirst and frequent urination. Some of H's readings have been on the high side 150's - 160's. His fasting blood sugars have been between 100 and 111 with one 88 in there. I will continue to monitor this and continue to pray that he doesn't have diabetes and he's just run down or affected by these terrible black flies that torment the Adirondacks in the spring. I am only going to check his fasting blood sugar until Friday and see what that looks like. I am hoping that my Dr. will agree to do an A1C on him and put this questioning to rest. I am realizing that checking him randomly like this will drive me nuts and there is no pattern, so why bother.

What I am realizing through this wait time is that either way it will be alright. I will be heartbroken for the lose of his perfect health, but I also know first hand that he and we will rise above diabetes. It is a part of us as a family, but it is in no way all of who we are. When S was diagnosed I remember thinking that diabetes could make us or break us as a family. This is the kind of stress that can tear people apart. If anything diabetes did the opposite for us. This difficult, stressful, sometimes impossible thing has brought us closer together. We all rely on each other. We all understand the ups and downs and what we have to do keep all of us happy and healthy. K needs to fish and hunt whenever he can, I need to be able to go running ,  the kids to need to play and have fun daily, and we all need each other all the time.  My mother said to S, "I really hope H doesn't have diabetes." S responded by shrugging her shoulders and saying, "If he does we'll just have to deal." Some look at the way she delivered that response as a little kid who doesn't know any better, when the truth is that she is right and she actually knows better than any of us.

IF he is diagnosed I will have to remember to read this back to myself when I am an emotional wreck :)
Also, I am sick of referring to my kids as S and H. Their names are Skyler and Henry.

7 comments:

htimm=) said...

Your children are beautiful and I love their names. They fit them well. I have to admit I shed a few tears as I read your post. My youngest is 15 months and I have been wondering in the back of my head "what if he gets it too?" "Will I catch it before PICU?" It's a fear that I didn't realize was so prevalent until I read your post. Your little Skylar is wise beyond her years. If Henry happens to have T1 you will all deal with it just like she said. If my little David happens to have T1 we will all deal with it. ((hugs)) I hope our fears don't come true but if they do I am so thankful to have found other moms that I can vent to through my blog.

Meri said...

I promise that if it does happen, you will catch it way before it gets to be anything scary. And you will rise above, and you will be strong and wonderfully wise about the entire thing. Sure, you will have bad days/sad days...but all will be well.

If he hasn't had a bg over 200, I wouldn't let myself worry. Plus, the A1C this early would be normal. But it may be good to get one to compare to later A1C's.

Good luck, I'm so sorry that you have had to worry about this. I know how heartbreaking the whole process is. I totally know.

((HUGS))

my sweet girl said...

Thank you for the encouragement! It's just what I needed.

htimm=) said...

Sorry for the typo (Skyler). It bugs me when people spell my kids names wrong.

sarah said...

That picture says it all! He is such a pip! Happy Birthday to one of the best mama's I know.

connie said...

I hope that your fears do not come true and you never have to worry about having two children with T1.

I know that if that does ever happen, you and your family will be ok. It may not feel that way at first but in time you adjust.

When I found out that Lil miss C also had T1 I was devestated, I remember thinking that there is no way I could take care of two toddlers with type 1 diabetes. I was wrong, like Meri said...you rise above and you are strong. Stronger then I think we ever give ourselves credit for.

I will be thinking of you and your family, hoping for the best and sending lots of hugs your way.

Reyna said...

Your children are absolutely adorable!!! Thinking of you during this time. I know we have gone through some similar moments with our daughter...luckily, she has been d-free to date. We did have some high-ish #s like a year and a half ago. At first I was heartbroken... I then decided I couldn't focus on it and know we can handle whatever d throws our way...even if it is going to be invading our other precious child.

xoxo