Friday, May 28, 2010

Freedom

    It is Memorial Day weekend and time for the annual father - kids camping trip that takes place among our group of friends. It is such a great thing. The Dad's plan everything and take all the kids to  a spot not far away for the weekend. The kids have a blast!! They look forward to it for weeks. The Mom's are psyched also. A night without the kids; should we go out to dinner, relax at home ALONE, go shopping, or go away for the weekend ourselves. Well, those all sound great but, if your me it's just a giant opportunity to worry and lose even more sleep than normal for two days.
    Now, I do need to mention that I totally trust my husband; however, I am the main diabetes care giver. I am the one who gets up in the middle of the night. I am the one who plans the meals ,and I know what is best to eat and when to eat it. All in all it is the overnight time that worries me. I automatically wake up to check S - he isn't programmed that way. He is very reassuring and I do trust him it is just so difficult to have her away from me overnight.
    So I will go out tonight with all the ladies who will be thoroughly enjoying their freedom and most of them will notice that I am just not quite myself and that I may not be quite as excited to have this freedom that seems so precious to us moms. Some of the ladies will understand and will, in discreet and quiet ways,  continue to reassure me that things will be fine. Some of the ladies won't "get it" at all. It won't even cross their minds that this experience is very different for me than it is for them. I can't really blame them. Like a lot of people out there some of them have no idea what managing diabetes is like. Those ladies will leave there and possibly judge me for being worried or for not enjoying my freedom as much as they might tonight. I will need to remind myself that all they would need to do is walk in my shoes for one day and they would quickly learn what it is like to have a child with Type 1 diabetes.  I will also remind myself to thank God for the people in my life who do get it and are always there for me - even if they don't directly live with diabetes.

4 comments:

htimm=) said...

Take a deep breath and try to think about all of the fun she is having and not her BG numbers. Easier said than done I know. Everything will be great! Take the time to really teat yourself to something that is just for you. A pedicure, a new outfit, a glass of wine, a dessert that you wouldn't dream of eating in front of your daughter, a massage, a new book whatever it is that makes you feel pampered and try to enjoy your break from D.

Meri said...

I'm with the above comment! Worry after your head hits the pillow if you have to...but don't let it ruin your girls night out. You know he will be fine for those evening hours...so treat yourself to a moment of complete fun and fancy free-ness! There will be plenty of time to worry later! I so feel for you, I just went through this, this week when J went to camp for 4 days. I was a mess! But your husband knows how worried you are, and he'll take good care of him! All will be well!

Wendy said...

ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY! Can't wait to hear what an AWESOME time you have and how much fun S has camping with dad!

Reyna said...

I sooo "get it". I too am the primary care giver of Joe and I get really nervous if I am not the one there at night to care for him. I didn't spend a night away from Joe until just 2 weeks ago (so that would be like 3 1/2 years...that I didn't spend a night away from Joe).

I hope you are having a great time. I am thinking of you!!!