It is Memorial Day weekend and time for the annual father - kids camping trip that takes place among our group of friends. It is such a great thing. The Dad's plan everything and take all the kids to a spot not far away for the weekend. The kids have a blast!! They look forward to it for weeks. The Mom's are psyched also. A night without the kids; should we go out to dinner, relax at home ALONE, go shopping, or go away for the weekend ourselves. Well, those all sound great but, if your me it's just a giant opportunity to worry and lose even more sleep than normal for two days.
Now, I do need to mention that I totally trust my husband; however, I am the main diabetes care giver. I am the one who gets up in the middle of the night. I am the one who plans the meals ,and I know what is best to eat and when to eat it. All in all it is the overnight time that worries me. I automatically wake up to check S - he isn't programmed that way. He is very reassuring and I do trust him it is just so difficult to have her away from me overnight.
So I will go out tonight with all the ladies who will be thoroughly enjoying their freedom and most of them will notice that I am just not quite myself and that I may not be quite as excited to have this freedom that seems so precious to us moms. Some of the ladies will understand and will, in discreet and quiet ways, continue to reassure me that things will be fine. Some of the ladies won't "get it" at all. It won't even cross their minds that this experience is very different for me than it is for them. I can't really blame them. Like a lot of people out there some of them have no idea what managing diabetes is like. Those ladies will leave there and possibly judge me for being worried or for not enjoying my freedom as much as they might tonight. I will need to remind myself that all they would need to do is walk in my shoes for one day and they would quickly learn what it is like to have a child with Type 1 diabetes. I will also remind myself to thank God for the people in my life who do get it and are always there for me - even if they don't directly live with diabetes.